Oh dear, oh dear. Holiday time again. Every time the family starts to talk about guests coming and menus and gifts, they give me that “what could she possibly do this year look.” I did make a real fool of myself last year when the guests came into the dining room for Thanksgiving dinner and there I was, hind foot up in the air, having a bath in the middle of their elegant dinner table.
I feel bad that my humans worry about me and my bad behavior this year. I see it in their looks and hear it in their voices. What can I do to make things up to them and prove I’m not going to ruin dinner again.
My, my, I got the picture. Not only could I see you as the holiday centerpiece, I could almost hear gasping. It took me a while to remove the image of a beautiful table, fine crystal stemware and soft glowing candles. Not to mention the big turkey with stuffing and all the other great smelling food. You did not happen to do a little sampling, did you? Never mind. Don’t answer that.
You were a bad kitty, yes, but it could have been worse. There could have been a putrid smell of burning fur had you not paid proper attention to the candles and accidentally set yourself on fire. What if you sampled the turkey dressing which likely contains sage? Sage can do a number on your gastrointestinal system and, in more simple terms, cause a major tummy ache which could completely overpower the food, scented candles, and burnt fur smells. Yes, it could have been a lot worse!
Follow these suggestions to help your people feel assured you will not do a repeat of last year:
- 1. Stay completely out of the dining room. When they are paying attention to you, walk toward the entryway, then proudly turn around and walk away.
- 2. Stay completely out of the kitchen. You want them to feel comfortable that you are not interested in the yummy food smells.
- 3. Practice calm and aloofness at all times until, say, President’s Day.
And remember, there is a magical law honored by pet people: You can do some pretty stupid things and they will still always love you.